My book “Writing Tools” was published by Little, Brown in 2006 with modest expectations. Since then it has sold more than a quarter of a million copies and been translated into eight languages, including Chinese and Arabic.
The most common question I receive in workshops is “What is your favorite writing tool?”
I always point to #2 on my list of 55: “Order words for emphasis.”
The idea is not just to find the right words but to place them in the best order. In most cases, open with something important and close with something compelling.
My favorite example is provided by none other than my main man William Shakespeare. Near the end of one of his famous tragedies, there is a scream off-stage. Lady Macbeth has died. A retainer approaches Lord Macbeth: “The Queen, my lord, is dead.”
This became, as high school language arts teachers would say, my mentor text. I noticed first that the Bard chose an order for those six words much different than what would have been mine: “The Queen is dead, my lord.”
So why is Shakespeare’s version better? It has two commas, creating a beginning, middle, end effect. He begins with the important subject: the Queen. Less important is what comes in the middle: my lord. The most important element -- the news, if you like -- is saved for the end: is dead.
Think of that as a theory of emphasis: that the most important or interesting element in a sentence can often do its best work at the end. We call that dot at the end of a sentence a “period.” The Brits have a better, more rhetorical, name: a full stop. Writers can think of a period as a stop sign. Any word or phrase that precedes it will get special attention.
This strategy is a staple of oratory, as any reading of Abraham Lincoln and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will prove. Michelle Obama told the audience of the Democratic National Convention: “I woke up this morning in a house that was built by slaves.” The White House. Not “Slaves built the house I woke up in this morning.”
All writers use emphatic word order but not always with purpose. Take a look at something you have written that makes you happy or proud. Find the white space to identify the ends of paragraphs. Now circle the language that comes before the white space. Have you used that powerful space to show off your best language? If not, is there something cool (or hot) hiding in the middle?
Other books by Roy Peter Clark: “The Glamour of Grammar, Help! for Writers”, “How to Write Short”, “The Art of X-Ray Reading”, and “Murder Your Darling”
Next time you need some sharp words written, send a note. Melissa@MHarris.com.
Get Me Rewrite: My favorite writing tool
Good stuff! Plan to amplify with students and my social media channels. Thanks!