Get Me Rewrite: Happy holidon'ts
By Brian Moore
Call me a grinch or scrooge, if you must. I’ve heard it all before. I’ve read it all before too. In a tradition that’s become as synonymous with the season as hanging stockings with care, writers this time of year turn to stories of redemption, goodwill and the runaway price of “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”
As a language nitpicker, I have a different tradition: Pointing out the mistakes writers make year after year. Let’s call them The Twelve Don’ts of Christmas.
1) Keep it down: Unless you’re writing about the actual characters, “grinch” and “scrooge” are lowercase nouns referring to spoilsports and penny-pinchers, respectively.
2) Scrooge-ism: Speaking of Ebenezer Scrooge, his disdain for the holiday season led him to often exclaim “Bah! Humbug!” Two words said separately — not “bah-humbug” or “bah, humbug.”
3) Ghost story: Scrooge (capitalized because we’re referencing the actual character), encountered four ghosts in Dickens’ story, the last of which was The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, not The Ghost of Christmas Future.
4) Holiday hang-ups: You decorate your halls with "boughs" of holly, not “bows.” Save your bows for gifts.
5) Naming rights: Kriss Kringle, with a double “s” in the first name.
6) Numbers game: The numeral in “The Twelve of Days of Christmas” is spelled out because that is its official title. Don’t let your editor change it to “12.”
7) Wait for it: The 12 days (use the number in generic use) referenced in the popular carol begin on Christmas Day and end Jan. 5.
8) Don’t shout: If you write for a greeting card company, you might capitalize “happy holidays” or “merry,” but those of us with more mundane writing jobs should not.
9) Rhyme time: The poem that inspired many of the stories and images we associate with Christmas was originally called “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” not “The Night Before Christmas.”
10) Possessed: When writing “season’s greetings,” don’t forget the apostrophe.
11) X marks the spot: Some might say writing “Xmas” puts you on the front lines of the war on “Christmas,” but that’s not accurate. The “X” is descended from the Greek word “Christos,” which means “Christ” and begins with “x” or “chi,” the 22nd letter of the Greek alphabet.
12) Holly-wood: Time to put this silly annual debate to rest: “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie. Period.
Next time you need some sharp words written, send a note. Melissa@MHarris.com.
